


Tell Me Something I Don't Know

by be_brave13



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin admits that he's married, Attempt at Humor, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Fluff, Gen, I Wrote This For Fun, Light crack, Obi-Wan Knows about Anidala, also is there a war??, and oh yeah, and that's why it's T lol, don't ask me, have fun with this one kiddos, idk - Freeform, like this is jut silly, no fucking beta we die like the gotdamn plebes we A R E, not to make sense, one (1) f bomb, tell obi-wan something he doesnt know lmao, that's kind of it, the only thing wrong in this au is that anakin is married, they ain't slick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24087832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/be_brave13/pseuds/be_brave13
Summary: Kriff it,Anakin decides, and just blurts it out. “I’m married to Padmé.”Obi-Wan blinks at him several times, his tea cup half-raised to his mouth. It’s the only indication Anakin has that he’s heard Anakin’s confession for five whole seconds before Obi-Wan huffs out a laugh and puts the cup back down on the table.“Anakin, you do know that I almost left the Order to be with Satine, right?” Obi-Wan says, and everything Anakin ever knew about his Master falls apart.aka, in an AU where Anakin is a slightly more rational being and the only thing "wrong" in the universe is his marriage, he finally gets the courage to tell Obi-Wan about it and gets a response he doesn't quite expect.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, kind of Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Comments: 37
Kudos: 349





	Tell Me Something I Don't Know

**Author's Note:**

> This is in no way, shape, or form me trying to write the conversation between Anakin and Obi-Wan I left out of _Coruscanti Regency_ and failing to write it because I have suddenly become actually allergic to writing serious things. Haha, nooooooo what are you talking about???????
> 
> Anyway, this is pure silliness and honestly an excuse for me to write sassy Obi-Wan and attempting to be funny but probably failing. Also we know this is an AU because Anakin actually is rational and he and Obi-Wan know how to communicate in this universe, presumably. (About everything other than Romantic Feelings and Experiences, of course.) 
> 
> Enjoy!!

This is it. This is the moment Anakin has been nervous about for months. He has gone back and forth with himself about it, almost received several injuries due to contemplation while walking places, and had Padmé get so frustrated with him that she threw her shoe at him the last time they’d talked about it, saying “Just _tell the man_ already so you can stop feeling so guilty!” and then mumbling something along the lines of “for goodness’ sake, it’s not like he’s going to kill you or anything,” or perhaps “my husband is so stupid sometimes” — but Anakin could have misheard that last one. 

Anyway, he’s finally going to tell Obi-Wan about his marriage.

He doesn’t know how his Master will take the news; he’s imagined every bad scenario there is and has tentatively hoped that Obi-Wan will at best say he wants to forget the conversation ever happened and they’ll go back to pretending like nothing is wrong. 

So, now that Anakin has secured the second half of the day in their quarters at the Temple to themselves with nothing planned except said talk, he feels ready. Somewhat, at least. Five months in the making, all for this literal moment of truth.

“Obi-Wan,” he says, sitting down across from his old Master and looking him straight in the eye, indicative of a serious conversation from the get go. “I have something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now, something I think you should know.” 

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow, but says nothing, obviously urging Anakin to continue. 

Anakin swallows, but does. “I, well. I am…” The words don’t want to come out, he’s been hiding them for so long, and he’s nervous about what’s going to happen. 

_Kriff it_ , he decides, and just blurts it out. “I’m married to Padmé.” 

Obi-Wan blinks at him several times, his tea cup half-raised to his mouth. It’s the only indication Anakin has that he’s heard Anakin’s confession for five whole seconds before Obi-Wan huffs out a laugh and puts the cup back down on the table. 

“Anakin, you do know that I almost left the Order to be with Satine, right?” Obi-Wan says, and everything Anakin ever knew about his Master falls apart. 

His jaw drops, and he takes a few seconds to reboot from the revelation, blinking blankly at Obi-Wan’s now slightly amused face. 

“You mean…” Anakin starts.

“I know exactly what kind of dilemma you’re going through? Yes,” Obi-Wan cuts him off. 

“No!” Anakin shouts, “You mean that I worked myself up into a snit for five months to get the courage to say I was illegally married and I could have just told you at any time, on any day of the week?!” 

“Oh,” Obi-Wan says, “that. Well, I suppose you could have, even though it would have been quite bad for you to just blurt it out in the Temple where everyone could hear-”

“Kriff you Obi-Wan. For real. The fact that I’m still alive is a testament to my strength and fortitude.”

Obi-Wan snorts. “More like a testament to _my_ penchant for saving you from certain death many more times than anyone should ever come close to dying.” 

“Hey!” Anakin points at him protestfully before scowling and switching gears. “Stop getting me off track. I was trying to tell you about my wife!” 

“Ah yes,” Obi-Wan placates, “Senator Amidala. I knew you two were involved, but Anakin, why did you have to go get married to her? Honestly. It would have been so much easier if you’d kept things more discreet. But now there’s evidence somewhere of your involvement, and witnesses!” 

Anakin squints at him, not sure if Obi-Wan is being sarcastic or not with this whole speech (he’d call it a soliloquy, but if he’s there to see it it isn’t really one of those anymore, is it?). After a moment, he decides it doesn’t matter because this reaction is much better than being yelled at and thrown to the krayt dragons of the Council.

“We used Threepio and Artoo as our witness. They won’t tell anyone.” 

Obi-Wan snorts. “Threepio? That droid gossips more than two old Nubian ambassadors over tea _by himself_ , and he’s just one droid!” Obi-Wan turns his scowl on Anakin. “And Anakin, I’m hurt that you didn’t invite me. I would have been a much better witness.” 

Anakin quickly pinches the back of his hand just to make sure this isn’t a dream. This whole conversation has gone in about five different directions he has not expected, and he isn’t quite sure if he’s living some sort of daydream, hopped up on spice, or maybe actually dead (for real this time) and living in some kind of idealized (crazy?) afterlife. 

Seeing as how much the pinch hurts like a motherfucker, Anakin will tentatively keep the hypothesis that he’s alive. For now. 

“So,” he says, not quite sure how to reply to the comments made above and deciding to move on instead, “what are you going to _do_ about this?”

Obi-Wan shoots him a look, one eyebrow raised. “Do? Whatever do you mean?” 

Anakin waves his hands uselessly in front of him. “Y’know. Like, _do._ As in, report me to the Council, or make me get a divorce, or say I’m morally obligated to leave the Jedi Order… Do like _that._ ” 

“Mmmm,” Obi-Wan hums, drinking a sip of tea. “I hear what you’re saying, but let me ask you a question. Do you _want_ me to do any of that?” 

“Force no!” Anakin says vehemently.

“Then no, I won’t be, as you’ve put it, _doing_ anything about the situation. You’re a big boy and you’ve been married for how long now?” 

“Like, two years.”

“Exactly, like two- ex _cuse me,_ Anakin? Two years! It took you _two years_ to tell me you’re a married man?”

Anakin shrugs, looking away uncomfortably. “Well, it didn’t seem that important at the time, and I thought you’d kick me out, so…”

“Hmph.” Obi-Wan’s noise of acknowledgement also does double duty as a noise of discontent. “Well you better renew your vows with me present whenever you decide to do that, then.” 

“Sure,” Anakin acquiesces, only because he’s not entirely sure what the kriff “ _renewing vows_ ” actually _is_ anyway. 

They sit in silence for a minute, Obi-Wan continuing to drink his tea as contentedly as he pleases, while Anakin is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

After a minute, he can’t take it anymore and interrupts the silence with, “So that’s it?” 

Obi-Wan gives him a look, but then it gentles. “Anakin,” he says. “You’ve never been an orthodox Jedi. I think, as long as you don’t put her above everything else in the world, as long as you can make the sacrifice for the world over her, then you should be fine. Keep it as love, and not obsession; make your affections freely given and expecting nothing in return. If you do these things, which you have been doing, then I believe there is nothing more I can ask of you.” 

And, oh. Something in Anakin shifts at that simple confession of confidence in his character, a tension in him easing slowly. 

And while he loathes the idea of having to choose between Padmé and the world, he and his wife have had this discussion before. They both have expressed that their work is paramount to who they are, and it comes first. They both know that. And so, yes. Anakin would choose the world over Padmé– not only because she asked him to do so, or because she would do the same thing if it were him, but because it is the right thing to do.

Obi-Wan does indeed have nothing to worry about. 

“Thank you,” he breathes. He does not say what for, but Obi-Wan knows him well enough to understand anyway. 

They sit in silence again, this time peacefully. Anakin closes his eyes, and lets the Force presences of all those in the Temple wash over him, thousands of little pinpricks of light and feeling. Obi-Wan’s is the strongest of the bunch, being right next to him and just due to its natural luminance. Anakin lets himself drift for a moment, then anchors himself back in the moment with a smile.

“So,” Anakin says, “when you decide to follow through on your rebellious side, you better use me as one of your witnesses in your wedding to Satine. In fact, _best man_ me or I'll disown you.” 

Obi-Wan, to his credit, just gives Anakin a haughty look. “You can't disown me, it doesn't work like that. And I’ll have you know that Artoo and Arfour are my beings of choice, thank you very much. They, at least, do not keep important things from me for over two years, crash my ships, and make my life difficult.” 

Anakin makes a face at him and says back, “Shut up, you know you love me.” 

At that, Obi-Wan smiles. “Yes. I do.” 

And there is nothing more to it than that. 

**Author's Note:**

> oop, there it is. 
> 
> feel free to tell me what you think and chat in the comments!!! this in no way is supposed to be serious but I figured we could all use a bit more fun in our lives so I posted it anyway B) 
> 
> stay safe and WEAR YALL GOTDAMN MASKS!!!!


End file.
